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Thanksgiving Tips from Kevin the Turkey

11/21/2017

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We once again tracked down our beloved local celebrity Kevin the Turkey before he went into the ‘Wit-nest Protection Program’. In many ways Thanksgiving is a day of celebration for our feathered friend, but it can also be an extremely hectic and scary time. He shared with us his Top-Ten tips for, literally, surviving the beginning of the holiday season.
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  1. Spend time with family: Birds of a feather flock together and so does family. Share some holiday memories with loved ones and break bread, not wishbones.       
  2. Drive carefully: This is the busiest travel day and a lot of my friends are headed south for the winter. So watch the road and yield to those taking flight.
  3. Eat Tofurkey- These saviors are a delicious, healthier alternative to the other white meat. Plus they cook up in a fraction of the time, so you won’t have to put this fake fowl in oven at the crack of dawn.
  4. Watch football: This is always a good idea even though the Cardinals, Eagles, Falcons, Ravens, and Seahawks are not playing this Thursday. By the way the Seahawks are the football equivalent to the Tofurkey, but the Seattle Osprey doesn’t have the same ring to it.    
  5. Bake an apple pie: There’s nothing better than the smell or taste of warm apple pie, but remember to toss your scraps outside instead of in the garbage. One man’s trash is another’s feast. 
  6. Watch the Hallmark Channel: Nothing is more relaxing than watching a marathon of different holiday-themed movies with the same stars and storylines. Oh and don’t close the shades, someone outside may be watching with you.      
  7. Take a hike: This is a beautiful time of the year to be outside for a stroll in the woods. Take it from somebody that has been hiking nonstop since leaving the nest.
  8. Count your blessings: There are many things to be thankful for, like the fact that it’s one day closer to the end of hunting season! 
  9. Take a nap: Let this happen naturally, there’s no need to load up on tryptophan.
  10. Hide: Sometimes it’s best to get away from everything and everybody. My philosophy is that it’s better to be under the table than on top of it.   
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    Sports Editor for the Rare Reminder, Glastonbury Citizen, and Rivereast News Bulletin 

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